Demoted
by princess of chaos
Summary: Oneshot- This story is based on the episode 'Devoted' which is in season 4. It's the 'Love Molecule' one, however, things go even MORE wrong for our dear Miss Sullivan. This is Humor so keep an open mind....


**~Demoted~**

**Challenge: Chloe mistakes Jonathan for Clark and comes onto him…**

**This fic is biased on season 4 episode 4 'Devoted'. The one where the cheerleaders make the love molecule potion for their football team boyfriends…….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or any of its characters……(poor little guys)**

* * *

"So where did you find this book Mandy?" asked generic cheerleader no. 1.

"Yeah it looks like you got it out of a library or something?" added generic cheerleader no. 2 with a disgusted grimace thrown in for effect.

"Oh cheerleaders 1 and 2 whom names are not important enough to remember, I DID get this book from a library can't you see the icky dusty cover" Mandy said with her usual smirk while she held up the old and battered chemistry book. " I like, was totally studying in one of the bookshelves -"

"-you mean making out with Josh Harley the new basketball coach" the two cheerleaders said, then giggled in unison and made obscene hand gestures.

"Yeah maybe, but anyway….I was like, being pushed up against this shelf which by the way was the most uncomfortable position I've ever done it in….well maybe that time in my kitchen sink…..or in my little brothers crib, well it would be uncomfortable with my baby brother in there with us-….well anyway….where was I??" Mandy questioned with wide blue eyes.

It was a well known fact that cheerleaders only had a two minute attention span and their train of thought dissolved quickly. The other two cheerleaders were also looking blank. All three looked down at the book sitting open on the table………….1...…..……2.……..…..3.…………..almost there….

" OH yeah, so anyway-"…………….….there ya go!

"- the book fell open, and I was like, OMGBANANA, because there it had written on the top page was 'Love Molecule' and so I was like, CHAH!!! And I totally checked that shit out"

The other two cheerleaders looked upon their leader in awe. Their minds were so full of admiration, their brains screamed simultaneously…..

….'WOW she can read'……

* * *

Later that episode Chloe Sullivan, a beautiful and all rounded individual stepped out onto the pitch. She had just tried to get an interview with Jason Teague the new assistant coach, however he blew her off and was now shouting at his bumbling football entourage.

Chloe mused….

'Bloody Hell he is one fine piece of ass!! But not as cute and muffin-esk as Clark's butt is.

Dear God I need sex…..

This is getting ridiculous, when is a girl gonna get a break. I'm an ace reporter with the ability to find gossip in every nook and cranny of this school but I don't get a single whiff of whether anyone in the student body likes me or not. Am I just that repulsive that every man shies away from me whenever I come within a 15 mile radius? That can't be right Chloe!! keep your head up kid, Clark will notice you one day, he'll turn round and say 'hay kiddo, you're the only one for me' I'm sure of it.'

With her new found confidence that Clark would eventually come to his senses and stop chasing after that crack-whore Lana, she clicked the pressure button on the drinks cooler and allowed a small amount of the suspicious green liquid to flow into her cup. She happily took a gulp.

'wow' Chloe thought to herself, she hadn't noticed what beautiful purple skin Clark had.

* * *

"Mandy?" Generic cheerleader no. 2 asked with a confused look upon her face (which was almost her natural expression) "why did you decide to put LSD in the Love Molecule mixture?"

"Just to give it a kick" she explained like it was obvious.

The two cheerleaders were again in complete awe of their cheerleader-leader…..

....they couldn't even spell LSD……….

* * *

Clark had just gotten home from a long days practice. He wasn't warn out in the physical sense seeing as he was invincible and all, no, it was his spirit that was warn out. He felt dejected that his team mates were cruel and heartless towards him because he took the place of the star quarterback. But it wasn't his fault that he was awesome.

All he wanted to do was go up to his barn and have a lie down. Which was a bad idea because Chloe had snuck up there, stripped and put on his football jersey. She was ready to go the distance….YES!!! Plus the cool weird shapes she was seeing were making her horny.

Clark plunked his football down on the kitchen table, shrugged off his jacket and was about to go out to his fortress of solitude when his dad came in through the front door.

"Hello son, how was your first day of practice?" Jonathan's sexy, rich, beautiful, seductively gorgeous voice asked while still sounding fatherly and compassionate.

Clark looked at him with big puppy dog eyes and started telling him the story of woe and heart ache. To which his non-biological father replied by telling his own stories of woe and heart ache. In a woe and heartache embrace the two felt comforted and safe, the bonds of love between them were so powerful that not even Jur-El could break them apart…….

Meanwhile Chloe was bored as shit sitting in the same position waiting for Clark to wander in. How long where they gonna talk for??? She needed action.

She started to look around, her knee was jutting up and down irritably. She looked down at her hand and realised mushrooms were growing out of her fingers. Damn that LSD! She shoved the hand into her mouth to taste the mushrooms, but they weren't satisfying at all. She scanned the room to find something that would occupy her until Clark came in and gave her the best shag of her life.

Surprisingly she saw a conveniently stashed can of paint on the top shelf. This seemed very interesting to the LSD induced Chloe. In fact, in her altered state, she could see no other logical alternative than to retrieve the mystery can from its resting place. She stood up, pulled her hand from her mouth which now dripped attractively with spittle and sauntered over to a stool. She dragged the stool towards the shelf and climbed up towards the paint. On closer inspection she saw that the paint dripping down the side was the most disgusting red-ish ginger she had ever seen (this is not with influence of LSD). She dismissed this thought.

Our blundering Chloe was not the most balanced of individuals at the best of times, so while standing with her hands outstretched towards the shelf while teetering on the edge of a 3 legged stool was not the greatest of ideas. She pushed herself further up, her hands grazed the side of the can, she could feel the cool metal.

The stool gave a horrible lurch and started wobbling and jiving as if dancing to an unheard tune. Her body moved from side to side trying to right herself. In a last ditch effort before the stool toppled over completely she leapt upwards and enclosed the handle of the can in her grasp. The smile on her face was dazzling……….until she realised she couldn't fly and she descended onto the hard wood below her, the can fell close behind. The contents spilled out from the can and drizzled itself like rotten caramel onto Chloe's beautiful hair, staining it ginger. The weight of the metal then proceeded to smack her on the noggin.

Neither Jonathan nor Clark heard the crash, they were still sharing a man hug.

The paint was surprisingly cold Chloe thought. She shivered with both pain and chills. Spying a pile of Clark's dirty laundry, she pushed herself towards the mountain of mouldy pants and jockstraps. Even though she could feel a lump on the back of her head forming, the intoxicating smell of Clark's lower regions made her orgasm just a little bit.

Clark and Jonathan had separated and were now reading each others souls through meaningful looks. Jonathan cleared his throat and said.

"Clark I know its hard for you right now, you have more responsibility to deal with than other boys your age, and more secrets than a lifetime could rack up. But I just want you to know that I am very proud of you, and that your mother and I are always here for you."

"Thanks dad" Clark replied "I think I'm gonna go up to the barn and do some homework"

"Clark, have you forgotten about your chores, you have to clean the outhouse tonight. You may have superpowers, but not even you are gonna find THAT job easy" Jonathan said with a chuckle.

"Was it mom again?"

"Yes son, I'm afraid it was"

Clark went outside to retrieve the shovel and then headed towards the outhouse. It was gonna take a man of steel to clean out that thing……

* * *

Meanwhile in other parts of the episode….

Jason and Lana make-out…..

* * *

Chloe was covered in Clark's clothes to keep her warm, she had also shoved one of Martha's old shirts over the bulge to make herself look more attractive for when Clark finally came. Where the HELL was he??!!

Chloe made a decision to go look for him.

She made it down the barn stairs, out the barn door across the courtyard until she reached the newly installed pig sty ( right outside the house, something about Martha wanting to be closer to her family, I dunnno). When suddenly Chloe tripped on the end of Clark's dirty jockstrap which protruded from underneath the shirt and fell face first into the piggy-poop. Her face was smeared with brown ickyness, she was unrecognisable.

She was sill determined though, Clark was a good man, he would love her no matter what. He would follow in his father's footsteps, just look at his mother!

She pushed herself forward, urging herself to go the extra mile. She had to get into that house Clark was waiting for her. Oooh those flowers are very brightly coloured, she'd never seen blue sunflowers before.

The front door was so close. She pushed herself up the stairs, each step was such a strain. The door knob turned with a creak and she stepped into the house. She could see a figure standing before her.

Her voice was lost, she could only manage a croak, it bubbled out from within her windpipe "Sweetie?"

Jonathan looked up, a flicker of shock shot across his handsome face. The figure before him. Its disgustingly ginger dirty hair, the fat blobby body all mangled and misshapen. The beady eyes popping from the depths of its muddy mask were crazed and obviously drugged. The voice was like a dieing animal…….. All he could say was…..

" Martha I told you once before you don't need to use those beauty masks, your gorgeous just the way you are…"

Chloe orgasmed just a little bit more…..

Its not Clark, but it will do…..

**~The end ~**

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End file.
